Royal Sonesta Chicago: Unforgettable River Views & Luxury Await!
The Hotel Review from Hell (and Heaven, Maybe) – A Deep Dive
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I've just emerged from… the hotel. The one with all the things (according to the listing, anyway). I’m talking accessibility, spa treatments, food, Wi-Fi that purportedly never drops out (yeah, right), and enough sanitization to make a surgeon blush. But was it actually a slice of paradise, or a meticulously crafted illusion of cleanliness and convenience? Let's find out. And warning: this is gonna be a long one. Grab a coffee, a snack, and maybe a stiff drink. You’ll need it. SEO/Metadata Snippet – Just in Case You're Googling Later:
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Let's Start with the Basics (aka: The Endless Checklist)
- Accessibility: Okay, THIS was a big one for me. I’m not in dire need of accessible features, but I always try to evaluate them. And… drumroll please… the hotel actually gets a thumbs up. Wheelchair accessible areas were plentiful, elevators were ample, and the elevator was fast. The facilities for disabled guests were visible, and that's a massive plus. The only thing they missed, was to remove the word "disabled" from the signage. It should be "Accessibility features", but that's a minor, fixable fix.
- Internet & Connectivity: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! They also provide Internet access – LAN. And guess what? The Wi-Fi [Free] was actually… functional! Shocking, I know. But more importantly, it wasn’t the usual hotel Wi-Fi death trap. I could watch YouTube videos (bliss!), answer emails and do all the things a modern creature needs, and the Internet was actually very good.
- Cleanliness and Safety: (The Obsession) Let's just say, this hotel is practically swimming in cleaning products. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer dispensers everywhere – even in the elevator! Rooms sanitized between stays. Staff trained in safety protocol. It was a bit much, bordering on slightly paranoid. The paranoia was so extreme, that I was considering getting a Doctor for every day of my vacation.
- Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: This is where things got interesting. Restaurants! A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, **Breakfast [buffet], *Breakfast service*, *Buffet in restaurant*, *Coffee/tea in restaurant,*, *Poolside bar*, and the infamous *Room service [24-hour]*. The *restaurants* are the best part of the hotel, especially the Asian one.
- My Restaurant Story: One night, I ordered room service - a steak. It was 2 am. The steak arrived, perfectly cooked, with the saddest-looking salad I've ever seen. It also came with a tiny bottle of water. The hotel provides Bottle of water …and you could actually see the bottle. Anyway, I'd give the steak itself an 8/10, but the whole experience was a 3.
- Services and Conveniences: Air conditioning in public area, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Daily housekeeping (bless!), Doorman. They've got the basics.
- The Concierge Conundrum: I asked the concierge for a recommendation for a good local bookstore. He stared at me blankly. Then, he started talking about a "digital download" bookstore. Seriously? Is this the future?
- For the Kids: The Kids facilities were decent, but let's face it: I'm not a kid, so I didn't spend much time there.
- Available in All Rooms
- My Favorite Room Features:
- Air conditioning: Essential.
- Alarm clock: Ugh, but necessary.
- Bathtub: Lovely.
- Blackout curtains: Crucial for sleeping in.
- Coffee/tea maker: Lifesaver.
- Free Wi-fi: The best!
- Refrigerator: Awesome to store snacks.
- Shower: Good water pressure.
- Wake-up service: Needed it every day.
- My Favorite Room Features:
- Getting Around: Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Taxi service. Smooth sailing.
The Spa Experience: Body Scrubs, Wraps, and Existential Dread
Alright, let's talk spa. Because, let's be honest, who doesn't want to be pampered? This hotel had the works: Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, and even a weird “couple's room”.
- The Body Wrap Debacle: I opted for a body wrap. And let me tell you, being swaddled in seaweed like a giant burrito is a… unique experience. I think I fell asleep during the seaweed application part. The actual massage was decent.
Things to Do (Beyond the Room and the Spa)
- Things I Never Did: Gym (Nope), Pool (Nope), Pool with view (didn’t explore).
The Verdict (aka: My Rambling Conclusion)
Look, this hotel is… fine. It’s not perfect. It's got its quirks, its flaws, its slightly obsessive-compulsive approach to cleanliness. But it's also got a lot going for it. The accessibility is genuine, the Wi-Fi actually works, the food (mostly) hits the spot, and the spa, well, it can be a fun experience.
Would I recommend it? Yeah, I think so. Just be prepared for a slightly clinical, overly sanitized experience.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 (would be 4 if they chilled out with the Purell)
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Royal Sonesta Chicago: A Chronicle of Chaos & Comfort (with a side of deep-dish)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your pristine, perfectly-optimized travel itinerary. This is a raw, real account of my Chicago caper at The Royal Sonesta. Prepare for tangents, triumphs, and the inevitable existential dread that comes with… well, being in Chicago.
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Deep-Dish Debate (Spoiler: I'm Team Lou Malnati's)
- 1:00 PM: Touchdown at O'Hare. Ugh, airports. I swear, the sheer volume of beige and the existential void of overpriced coffee… it’s a lot. Finding my pre-booked Uber felt like a scavenger hunt with bonus exhaustion. Turns out, "Gate C, by the Cinnabon" is NOT a helpful landmark.
- 2:00 PM: Check-in at The Royal Sonesta. First impressions? Swanky. Seriously, that lobby is trying to seduce you with its chic lighting and the vague promise of an amazing view. My room? Pretty damn good. Clean, spacious, and with a view… of another building. Ah, Chicago.
- 3:00 PM: The real mission begins: FOOD. Deep-dish pizza, specifically. The Great Deep-Dish Debate is on, and I’m armed with Yelp reviews and an empty stomach. I'd heard so much about Pequod's, but after a bit of deliberation, I thought, let's start with Lou Malnati's. Walked there, got really hungry, got there, ordered the buttercrust, and it was… heaven. The cheese pull was legendary. The conversation? Pretty average. Ate half, boxed the rest, no regrets.
- 5:00 PM: Wandered around River North, soaking up the scene. Apparently, everyone in Chicago has a dog. And stylish shoes. And a generally enviable air of "I'm thriving." Feeling slightly inadequate, I ducked into a bookstore, hoping to absorb some intellectual superiority by proximity. Didn't work.
- 7:00 PM: Drinks at a rooftop bar (don’t remember the name, shame). The view of the city glittering at night was amazing. Tried a fancy cocktail that tasted suspiciously like cough syrup. But hey, the view!
- 9:00 PM: Collapsed back at the hotel, utterly defeated by the day's walking and Chicago's sheer energy. Ordered room service (burger, fries, the works) and rewatched a terrible rom-com. Needed.
Day 2: Art, Architecture & the "I Almost Got Mugged" Moment
- 9:00 AM: Woke up feeling strangely optimistic. Guess the burger did its job.
- 10:00 AM: The Art Institute of Chicago. Okay, fine, I’m judging myself. It was seriously overwhelming. I went in thinking I could conquer the Impressionist wing in an hour. Nope. Spent practically all morning mesmerised by Monet's "Haystacks." Did not understand the modern art exhibit.
- 1:00 PM: Architecture River Cruise. I’m not normally one for tourist traps, but this was legitimately awesome. The city's skyline is truly spectacular, and the history of the buildings is fascinating. Plus, the boat ride was a welcome break for my poor feet. Really wish I had been paying attention because there were a bunch of details I can't retain to save my life.
- 3:00 PM: Strolling through Millennium Park. The Bean (Cloud Gate) is cool, but it's also the ultimate selfie magnet. I spent a good hour trying to get a genuinely un-posed photo and failed miserably. Also, almost got run over by a bike. And almost got pickpocketed… in a group of people. It was the most Chicago experience and I’m still shaken.
- 5:00 PM: Needed retail therapy to shake off the afternoon's minor trauma. Hit up Michigan Avenue (Magnificent Mile). Saw a bunch of stores. Didn’t buy anything. Felt poor.
- 7:00 PM: Got a burger at a classic Chicago place (wait, was it Portillo’s? I think so). Honestly, at this point, all I wanted was something greasy and familiar. And a large Coke.
- 9:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Journaling. Processing. Worrying about the next day. Maybe I should have stayed home?
Day 3: Blues, Brews & a Moment of Clarity (and a Bloody Mary)
- 9:00 AM: Slept in! Blessedly.
- 10:00 AM: Brunch. Not a bad hotel room service setup. Eggs, bacon. Needed the fuel for…
- 11:00 AM: Trying to go to the zoo. Got lost. Almost missed the zoo. Hated my sense of direction.
- 1:00 PM: Checking out of the hotel. Did the required amount of small talk…
- 1:30 PM: Checking into a place near the airport. Waiting for my connecting flight.
- 2:00 PM: Headed to the airport. Ugh, airport food again.
- 2:30 PM: Made a Bloody Mary. Needed. And it was good. And the rest of my travel day will hopefully be okay.
Overall Impression:
The Royal Sonesta: Classy. Comfortable. Great location (despite my navigational ineptitude). Would recommend. Chicago: Brutally beautiful. Energetic. Exhausting. I'll be back… eventually.
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