Escape to the Charming Langton Arms: Your Tarrant Monkton Getaway Awaits!
Escape to the Charming Langton Arms: Your Tarrant Monkton Getaway - A Raw & Real Review
Alright, folks, buckle up. This isn’t your typical, sanitized hotel review. I'm spilling the tea on the Langton Arms, that "charming getaway" in Tarrant Monkton, and let me tell you, it's a rollercoaster. So, grab a cuppa (or maybe something stronger) and let's dive in, shall we?
Accessibility - A Mixed Bag, Sadly.
Okay, first impressions. The website promised accessibility, but let's be honest, it's a bit iffy. The elevator was a godsend after lugging my suitcase up the stairs (more on that later), but navigating the grounds… well, it involves a bit of a hike, especially for those with mobility issues. The Facilities for disabled guests are there, but I'd recommend calling ahead and clarifying exactly what's available. Don't just take the website's word for it, because let's be real, websites often lie. My advice? Triple-check before you book if accessibility is a primary concern. This is where a hotel gets serious points from me, so make it count, Langton Arms.
Food, Glorious (Mostly) Food!
The dining situation is where the Langton Arms really shines. Forget those bland hotel breakfasts; this place is a foodie's paradise.
- Breakfast: The breakfast buffet was a riot of choices. Okay, a delicious riot. The Western breakfast was spot-on, with perfectly cooked eggs and crispy bacon. They also had options for the adventurous, with a nod to Asian breakfast and Asian cuisine in restaurant. Seriously, I could have spent the whole morning camped out at the buffet, strategizing my next plate. It was so good!
- Restaurants & Dining: The restaurants themselves are a delight. I tried the a la carte restaurant on my first night, and the international cuisine was superb, although the portions… let's just say I needed a dessert. The desserts in the restaurant were divine. Then I checked out the Vegetarian restaurant and the Soup in restaurant and the Salad in restaurant portions were huge. Don't bother with lunch before you go there.
- Drinks: The Poolside bar was the perfect spot for a pre-dinner cocktail. The Bar was lively, and they had a decent Happy hour. A small price to pay for the overall experience.
- Room Service: The Room service [24-hour] was a savior after arriving late one evening. I'm generally not one for room service (who is?), but desperate times… and it was actually pretty good.
- Snacks and More: The Snack bar was perfect for a quick bite, and that tiny bottle of Bottle of water they provide free of charge is genius.
Cleanliness, Safety, and the Pandemic… Oh, the Pandemic!
This is where it gets interesting. The Langton Arms clearly takes hygiene seriously. They've gone the extra mile in these crazy COVID times.
- Safety First: I saw Staff trained in safety protocol everywhere, constantly sanitizing, and reminding us to be masked up. The Hand sanitizer dispensers are plentiful and they're really pushing the Physical distancing of at least 1 meter.
- Cleanliness: The Rooms sanitized between stays were impeccable, and the Daily disinfection in common areas really made you feel safe. Seeing Anti-viral cleaning products being used was reassuring.
- The Extras: They offer Breakfast takeaway service, which I'm a fan of. They also have Individually-wrapped food options and the Sanitized kitchen and tableware items make a difference.
The Spa & Relaxation - Almost Nirvana.
- The Spa Experience: Okay, let's deal with the spa. The Spa itself is gorgeous. The Sauna and Steamroom were divine, and the Pool with view was breathtaking. I opted for a Body scrub, and it was total bliss. I could have stayed in that Spa/sauna for hours. The Foot bath was a nice touch.
- Fitness: The Gym/fitness center was well-equipped and the Swimming pool [outdoor] area was beautiful.
The Rooms - Cozy & Comfy (Mostly).
My room? Ah, the room. The non-smoking rooms where great.
- The Good: My room was a Non-smoking, and had a comfy Seating area, a great desk, an extra long bed, and a decent Sofa. The Air conditioning worked a treat. The Coffee/tea maker was a lifesaver, and the Free bottled water was very much appreciated.
- The Quirks: I was on the High floor, but getting there was a bit of a trek via the elevator. I also have a small gripe: the shower pressure wasn't the best. Minor, but, still.
Services & Conveniences - The Little Things That Matter.
They have a lot of services.
- Conveniences: The Concierge was helpful, the Daily housekeeping was efficient, and the Ironing service was a godsend when my suitcase decided to explode.
- Technology: The Free Wi-Fi was a lifesaver. the Wi-Fi in public areas was great.
- Getting Around. The Car park [free of charge] was super convenient, and the option for Taxi service and Airport transfer is always appreciated.
The Downside (A Few Bumps in the Road).
Okay, here's the real talk. This place isn't perfect, but hey, nothing is, right?
- The Stairs: The stair situation was a minor inconvenience, especially with luggage.
- The Check-in/out [private]: Whilst private check in is not a deal breaker it would have been nice to talk to someone.
The Verdict - Worth the Escape?
Overall, I'd say YES. The Langton Arms has charm, character, and the food is genuinely worth the trip alone. The staff are friendly, the location is gorgeous, and yes, there are a few quirks. But that's what makes it… human. If accessibility isn't a dealbreaker, book it.
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Keywords: Langton Arms Review, Tarrant Monkton Hotel, Dorset Hotel, Spa Hotel, Accessible Hotel, Restaurant Review, Hotel Review, Spa Break, Weekend Getaway, Charming Hotel, Luxury Hotel, Foodie Escape, COVID-Safe Hotel. Accessible Hotel Dorset
Metadata:
- Title: Escape to the Charming Langton Arms: A Raw & Real Review
- Description: Honest review of the Langton Arms in Tarrant Monkton, Dorset. Featuring accessibility, food (OMG, the food!), spa experience, and quirky observations. Is it worth the stay? Find out!
- Keywords: Langton Arms, review, hotel, Tarrant Monkton, Dorset, spa, accessibility, food, restaurant, getaway, travel, UK.
- Author: [Your Name/Alias]
- Publication Date: [Date of Review]
- Category: Travel, Hotel Reviews, UK Travel
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because you're about to get a whirlwind tour of my "dream" (read: slightly-disorganized) trip to The Langton Arms in Tarrant Monkton. Prepare for a healthy dose of reality – and maybe a smidge of existential dread, because, let's be honest, isn't that what travel's really about?
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Pub-Related Crisis of 2024
- 10:00 AM (ish): Arrive at the Dorset countryside. I was picturing rolling hills, sheep peacefully munching, the kind of place where you instinctively slow down your breathing. Reality? A slightly muddy lane, a determined-looking tractor, and my internal monologue already screaming, "Did I pack enough socks?" The drive from the airport, was, long, a slow burn of anticipation, a series of wrong turns thanks to a dodgy sat nav, and a growing suspicion that this trip was going to be more challenging than I’d originally hoped.
- 11:00 AM: Check into our charming (read: slightly creaky) B&B. The owner, bless her heart, gives off serious "been-here-forever" vibes, which I immediately find comforting. She shows us to our room which is… small. Like, really small. I'm pretty sure I could touch both walls simultaneously. Still, the bed looks comfortable, and that's what matters, right? RIGHT? I mean, you got to be careful of the furniture as it is… antique, which is a nice way of saying "likely to collapse if you look at it wrong."
- 12:00 PM: The Langton Arms beckons! I'd heard such glorious things. A proper English pub, roaring fireplace, local ales, pub grub that'll make you weep with joy. We walk in, full of optimism. The place is cosy, alright. The fireplace is indeed roaring. The ale… well, they’re out of my favorite local one. Devastation. I feel like my life has been a terrible joke.
- 12:30 PM: Order lunch. I'm starving. Opt for the "famous" fish and chips. They arrive. The batter is… thick. Like, really thick. And the fish? Let's just say it had a distinct "I've-been-resting-on-the-plate-for-a-while" vibe. I push it around my plate with a fork, feeling slightly betrayed. This is not the fairytale pub lunch I’d envisioned. I take a few bites. I try to be optimistic… and give up in sheer frustration.
- 2:00 PM: Post-pub crisis existential ponderings. The truth is, I've never really been good at being "zen." Maybe I needed to relax and go into the pub with the mindset that the fish and chips would be subpar. I should have gone in with the perspective that even if the food was bad, it would all be part of the experience… and that's when it hit me. I was getting a little hangry.
- 3:00 PM: Back at the B&B. I decide to take a nap. I need a nap to recover from the fish and chip debacle.
- 5:00 PM: My first hike. I'd thought about getting lost in the countryside. Apparently, I did just that, as I was looking at my phone to see where the trail markers were. Got back in time for dinner.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the Langton Arms again. Feeling like a glutton for punishment, or perhaps just that I was hungry, I ordered a burger, which was significantly better than the fish and chips. And the atmosphere? Still wonderful. Still, the beer was the best part, I must admit.
Day 2: Charm, Sheep, & The Great Biscuit Incident
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast at the B&B. I manage to avoid any further culinary disasters.
- 10:00 AM: Wandering the village of Tarrant Monkton. Picture-postcard perfect. Cottages with thatched roofs, roses climbing walls, a babbling brook. This is what I came for! I take approximately 50 photos. At least I’ll have proof I was here.
- 11:00 AM: Attempt to pet a sheep. The sheep gives me a look that clearly says, "Back off, city slicker.” I retreat, tail between my legs.
- 12:00 PM: The Great Biscuit Incident. I bought a packet of local biscuits. They look delicious. I open the package in my room. I take a bite. They taste… like cardboard. Utter disappointment. This is the kind of deep existential disappointment that only a bad biscuit can inspire.
- 1:00 PM: I try to get a hold of myself and get some snacks at a store.
- 2:00 PM: I head out for an easy walk.
- 7:00 PM: Another dinner at the Langton Arms. The food, the ale, the cosy atmosphere… this is exactly what I wanted. I went to bed happy.
Day 3: Goodbye, Dorset (And Will I Miss It?)
- 9:00 AM: Goodbye breakfast.
- 10:00 AM: Pack my bags, feeling a bit less overwhelmed than when I arrived.
- 11:00 AM: Head off to the airport to leave.
Overall Thoughts:
Look, this trip wasn't perfect. The fish and chips were a disaster, my sheep-petting skills need work, and those biscuits… ugh. But I also sat by a roaring fire, drank excellent beer, saw a village that looked plucked from a fairytale, and actually had an adventure. The quirks, the imperfections, the minor disappointments… they all add up to something. And there's that part of you where that little voice in the back of your head laughs at your troubles. Would I go back to Tarrant Monkton? Maybe. But next time, I'm packing my own snacks. And maybe a sheep-whispering manual.
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Escape to the Charming Langton Arms: Your Tarrant Monkton Getaway Awaits! (FAQ - With a Heaping Dose of Reality)
Okay, so… What’s the Langton Arms *actually* like? Is it *that* charming?
Ah, the million-dollar question. Charming? Look, it's *definitely* got its moments. Picture: a pub, a genuinely classic pub, not some gastro-pretentious-thing. The beams are low (watch your head!), the fire crackles romantically (when they actually *light* it… more on that later), and there's a palpable sense of, well, *history*. It feels like a place that’s seen a few generations of locals, and you know what? It probably has. But charming doesn't automatically mean *perfect*. Sometimes, charming equals "slightly creaky floorboards at 3 AM when you really, REALLY need to pee". Just sayin'.
The Food! Is the food as good as everyone says? Because, y'know, Instagram lies.
Okay, the food… listen up! I went in with HIGH expectations. Seriously, *high*. And you know what? Mostly lived up to them. That Sunday roast? Oh. My. Goodness. The beef was… *chef's kiss*. Perfectly pink, melt-in-your-mouth, etc. But… (and there’s always a but, isn't there?)… my mate Dave ordered the fish. Said it was a tad dry. Dave's a tough critic, mind you, usually devours everything. So, yeah, mixed bag. But the sourdough? The sourdough was pure, unadulterated heaven. Seriously buy extra bread! I'm still dreaming about it. And the sticky toffee pudding? Don't even get me started. Just… get it. You won’t regret it. Unless you're allergic to sugar, in which case… well, you're on your own there, pal. Sorry. Food generally: Good, very good, *almost* perfect. Go hungry! This is not a 'small plates' kind of place.
The Rooms! What are the rooms *really* like? Are they… clean?
Okay, rooms. This is where things get a *little*… complicated. Clean? Yep. Spotless? Hmm, maybe not museum-level spotless. Think “a well-loved grandmother's house” rather than a sterile hotel. You know, slightly mismatched decor, a wardrobe that probably pre-dates the dinosaurs, and maybe (MASSIVE MAYBE) a cobweb in a corner. Don't freak out - it's character! We had Room 3, which was a *lovely* size. But... the shower pressure? Let's just say it was more of a gentle trickle than a power wash. I'm not usually one for a dramatic shower, but honestly, I felt like I was watering a particularly thirsty plant. (And, yes, I did mention it to the staff. They were lovely and apologetic, but clearly, the plumbing gods were not on our side that week.) Expect a bit of charming quirks. You're not at the Ritz, people. Embrace the quirks! They're part of the charm! Just bring an extra travel-sized bottle of shampoo.
The Staff! Are they friendly, or are they the sullen, overworked type?
This… this is where the Langton Arms REALLY shines. The staff? Bloomin’ *fantastic*. Seriously, they were genuinely lovely. Like, happy-to-chat, helpful, and *not* in that forced, insincere hotel-staff way. They were the kind of people who actually seemed to enjoy their jobs (a rarity these days, isn't it?). I remember one morning, completely flustered because I'd lost my keys. Panicked! They were so patient and helped me retrace my steps until I found them (in my *pocket*, mortifyingly enough). They also knew the menu inside and out and were happy to make recommendations. Proper country folk. A+ for the staff. Seriously, makes ALL the difference. It's their friendliness that will make you smile even if the shower pressure is awful & you spend the night on the creaky bed.
Tarrant Monkton itself… What's there to *do*? Or is it just… fields?
Okay, Tarrant Monkton. Let's be honest. It’s… rural. Very rural. Expect fields. Lots and lots of fields. There's a beautiful church (go see it, seriously), and walking trails galore. It’s perfect for escaping the city, or even a busy life. I took a hike that made me feel like one with nature, which is a rare (and good) thing for me. Don't expect bustling nightlife, though. This ain't Ibiza. But if you want peace, quiet, and a proper break from the chaos, it’s ideal. Just be prepared to embrace the slow pace of life. Bring a good book! And maybe a pair of wellies. Just in case. (And, yes, you *will* get lost on one of the walking trails. Guaranteed).
Anything I should *really* know before I go? (Besides the low doorframes!)
Okay, golden nuggets of advice… Firstly, BOOK. Far in advance. This place is popular, and for good reason. Secondly, the fire in the pub? Might not be lit *every* night. Check beforehand if that cozy-romantic vibe is a MUST for you. Thirdly, if you're a light sleeper… pack earplugs. Those creaky floorboards I mentioned? Not a joke. Fourthly, bring cash. Just in case (though they do have card facilities, but sometimes… you know). Fifthly… prepare to be charmed. Seriously. Even with the minor imperfections, the Langton Arms is a truly lovely place. I had a genuinely fantastic time, and I’m already planning my return trip. And sixthly - don't be afraid to ask for help! The staff are truly amazing!
Okay, let's talk about the fire… because this is bothering me. Will it be lit or not?!
Alright, alright, the fire. Here's the raw, unfiltered truth. It's a bit of a… gamble. Sometimes it's roaring, crackling, and casting a magical glow over everything. Other times… well, it's a collection of perfectly arranged logs, waiting, *waiting*, for someone somewhere to strike the match. I went in February once. FREEZING. And no fire. Gutted. I almost snuck out and made my own. I did ask, of course. The staff were lovely, explained it was sometimes a bit of a faff with the smoke and the wind, blah blah blah.Roaming Hotels
