Phuket Paradise: King Bed Balcony Room (2 Guests) at Lanting House!
Phuket Paradise…or Perhaps Purgatory with a King Bed? My Lanting House Review (King Bed Balcony Room)
Alright, folks, buckle up. This isn't your glossy brochure review. This is the real deal, spilled from my caffeine-fueled brain after a recent attempt at a relaxing getaway at Lanting House in Phuket. Specifically, the King Bed Balcony Room (for 2 Guests). Get ready for a rollercoaster.
(Metadata First, Because Apparently That's Important):
- Keywords: Phuket, Lanting House, King Bed Balcony Room, Review, Accessibility, Swimming Pool, Spa, Restaurant, Wi-Fi, Cleanliness, Safety, Breakfast, Room Service, Phuket Hotels, Thailand Travel, Budget-Friendly, Couple's Getaway.
(Now, the Honest Chaos…
Let's start with… well, where do we even start? This place… it has potential. Massive potential. The pictures online? They're… ahem… flattering. Reality? A little less Photoshop, a little more… lived-in.
The Room - The King Bed Betrayal!
Okay, the King Bed. That's the star, right? And it was a king. Huge. You could probably lose a small cat in there. The bed itself was… okay. Nothing truly amazing. I'd say a solid 7/10 on the comfort scale. The balcony, though… that was the promise. A little slice of paradise! And it almost delivered. The view (a bit of pool, a smidge of greenery) was decent. The chairs? Not the most ergonomic, and the plastic table wobbled a little more than I'd like. Overall, the room felt… slightly dated. Like it hasn't quite caught up to the Instagram age. The air conditioning, Praise be, worked like a champ.
- Available in all Rooms: Air conditioning (check!), Alarm clock (yup!), Bathrobes (luxury!), Bathroom phone (weird? yes!), Bathtub (tick!), Blackout curtains (crucial!), Carpeting (meh), Closet (adequate), Coffee/tea maker (score!), Complimentary tea (thank you!), Daily housekeeping (more on that later…), Desk (functional), Extra long bed (thankfully!), Free bottled water (appreciated!), Hair dryer (standard), High floor (didn't get lucky), In-room safe box (peace of mind!), Interconnecting room(s) available (don't think so!), Internet access – LAN (I think so…), Internet access – wireless (YES), Ironing facilities (somewhere), Laptop workspace (yup!), Linens (clean), Mini bar (slightly overpriced snake!), Mirror (yep), Non-smoking (thank GOD!), On-demand movies (I tried, failed miserably), Private bathroom (obvs), Reading light (thank you!), Refrigerator (chilly!), Satellite/cable channels (lots of channels, nothing good on), Scale (ew, no!), Seating area (kinda), Separate shower/bathtub (yup), Shower (yep), Slippers (nice touch), Smoke detector (important!), Socket near the bed (essential!), Sofa (not really), Soundproofing (decent), Telephone (hello?), Toiletries (basic), Towels (fluffy-ish), Umbrella (rainy season!), Visual alarm (nope), Wake-up service (yes!), Wi-Fi free, Window that opens (mostly). And now, where's my coffee?
Accessibility - A Mixed Bag
I didn't personally need accessibility features, but I tried to observe. The elevators were present, which is a win. I didn't see too many obvious wheelchair-friendly aspects, but I also spent a limited time exploring. The website mentions facilities for disabled guests. Caveat Emptor, my friends.
Cleanliness and Safety - A Bit Sketchy, TBH
This is where things got… interesting. The hallways had a certain… aroma (and no, it wasn't lavender fields). The Daily Disinfection in common areas, per their marketing, felt… absent. I saw wipes and hand sanitizer stations, which were nice. The staff were wearing masks and were trained in safety protocol, but let's just say the execution was… variable. The Room sanitization opt-out available? You know, I kind of wish I had opted out because it didn't look that much better anyway, not that I've seen anyone sanitizing anything.
And speaking of the room…The "professional-grade sanitizing services" felt like a slightly hurried once-over. I'm no germaphobe, but the dust bunnies under the bed were… alarming. Let's just say I spent the first hour giving everything a wipe-down with my own anti-bacterial wipes. Also got to see the Anti-viral cleaning products - whatever is used to clean, I'd rather not know. The Hygiene certification, well, I'd like to see it.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – The Food Fight!
The Breakfast [buffet], oh boy. This was a highlight. And by "highlight," I mean a mixed bag of potential and disappointment. They offer an Asian breakfast with a Western breakfast. The buffet was the usual suspects - eggs, toast, fruit, etc. The coffee was… thin. The fruit was pretty good, though. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was a savior. The salad in the restaurant saved me from a total hunger-induced meltdown. The Poolside bar was a pleasant touch. Drinks were decent, prices were… hotel prices. The Snack bar was an utter mystery, but it was there. The A la carte in restaurant felt understaffed, there was no alternative meal arrangement possible.
Services and Conveniences – The Concierge Conundrum
The Concierge… bless his heart, he tried. He was friendly and helpful. The Cash withdrawal was easy (thank goodness!). The Dry cleaning and Laundry service were available. The Daily housekeeping… let's just say the dust bunnies knew my room better than I did. And the Food delivery? Well, I didn't particularly enjoy the food, but in the end, that's what it was. The Elevator worked, which was a plus. The Convenience store was handy for picking up snacks and water to replace the free bottle of water.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax – Finding Your Chill
Okay, here's the good stuff. The Swimming pool [outdoor] was lovely. The Pool with view was a real plus. The Fitness center was… small but functional. The Spa, I didn't try that. I was too busy feeling slightly grubby, not gonna lie. Massage - very good!
- Things to Skip: The Sauna, Steamroom, maybe next time. The Body scrub and Body wrap, perhaps.
For the Kids – (Not a Kid Expert…)
There were kids around. Not many. The hotel seems more geared towards couples.
Getting Around - The Taxi Tango
Airport transfer was a breeze. The Car park [free of charge] was a huge plus. Taxi service was readily available.
The Verdict - Would I Go Back?
Honestly? Maybe. The location is decent (close to the craziness but far enough away to get some peace). The staff were generally lovely. But the cleanliness issues and the slightly underwhelming breakfast… they cast a shadow. If you're looking for luxury, this ain't it. If you're looking for a budget-friendly basecamp in Phuket, and you're not a total cleanliness freak, it could work. Just pack your own cleaning wipes and set your expectations accordingly. This is my humble opinion, and I hope you find the help in this review.
Unbelievable Villa Cardak: Mostar's Hidden Gem Revealed!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because you're about to get real. This isn't your sterile, perfectly-curated travel itinerary; this is the raw, messy, beautiful chaos of a trip to Phuket, Thailand, specifically for two lovebirds (or perhaps, just two very tired souls) bunking in a King-sized bed with a balcony at Lanting House. God, I hope the view is decent. Don't care what the itinerary says though.
Phuket Shenanigans: A Two-Person Dive into Paradise (Maybe)
Day 1: Arrival & Beach-Bound Bliss (or Utter Disappointment, Who Knows?)
- Morning (or, Let's Be Honest, Early Afternoon): Ugh, travel. It's a necessary evil, right? Assuming we've landed in Phuket (praying the flight wasn't delayed – I hate delayed flights), we'll be hustling through the airport, a sweaty, stressed mess, searching for a pre-booked transfer to Lanting House. Pray for AC. Pray for friendly faces. Pray that the mini-van doesn't smell like durian (the devil's fruit).
- Anecdote-slash-Fear-of-Failure: Last time I trusted Airbnb reviews? Let's just say my "charming beachfront bungalow" was less "charming" and more "creepy shack with a cockroach roommate." Shudder. This time, though, Lanting House seems legit… cross fingers.
- Afternoon: Check-in (hoping the staff is awake). Luggage disaster, unpacking, the obligatory "yay, we're here!" selfie (mandatory to prove we actually left our couches). Then, the balcony check! This is where the magic happens, folks. Seriously, if that view is epic, I’m immediately ordering a Chang beer and contemplating the meaning of life. Okay, a slight exaggeration. But, still… view is important.
Later, we're hitting the beach. Patong Beach is tempting, But, I'm guessing the relentless hawkers will instantly push me over the edge. So, we'll aim for Karon Beach or Kata Beach. Maybe.
- Quirky Observation: The first time you put your feet in the warm, turquoise ocean after a long flight? Pure bliss. The second time? Still pretty great. The tenth time? You start to wonder if you should’ve packed more sunscreen.
- Evening: Sunset cocktails (essential). Dinner at a beachfront restaurant. I'm thinking fresh seafood, hopefully, something that wasn’t caught that morning, and some pad thai (predictable, yes, but delicious).
- Emotional Reaction: Holy. Crap. I'm stressed about choosing the right restaurant already. Can't we just eat at the nearest thing that looks decent? And what if the food is bad? Suddenly, I’m picturing myself in a food coma, utterly defeated.
- Messy Rambling: Okay, deep breaths. Everything will be fine. Thai food is generally pretty amazing, and the worst-case scenario? We find a 7-Eleven and load up on Pringles. There's always Pringles.
Day 2: Island Hopping & Potential Disaster
- Morning: Wake up with a view. Breakfast on the balcony (if the view is decent, remember?). Pre-booked boat trip to Phi Phi Islands. This is supposed to be the "highlight" of the trip. I'm bracing myself for crowds.
- Opinionated Language: Phi Phi is gorgeous, sure, but it's also a tourist trap. Prepare yourselves. The water? Stunning. The selfie sticks? Unending.
- Afternoon: Snorkeling! I adore snorkeling. I'm either going to love it, or I'm going to accidentally swallow half the ocean. The latter seems more likely. The boat trip will also take us to Maya Bay (the beach from "The Beach").
- Stronger Emotional Reaction (Good and Bad): Okay, I need to see Maya Bay. I've seen the movie, the images… I'm expecting pure, unspoiled paradise. And it's going to be overrun with people. I can already feel my blood pressure rising.
- More Messy Structure & Occasional Rambles:
- I am so nervous about how everyone will be on the boat. Will it be crowded?
- Will I hate it?
- Will the water be clean?
- Will I get seasick?
- What if a rogue wave takes my phone and I can't post my vacation photos?
- I need to breathe. Okay, I will have a fantastic time.
- Evening: Dinner back at Lanting House (or perhaps a restaurant we saw along the beach). Early night, because my soul is already exhausted.
- Doubling Down on a Single Experience: Okay, let's be real, this whole island-hopping shebang is going to be a test of my patience. The boat ride, the people, the sheer number of selfie sticks… it’s a lot. So, I'm going to consciously try to enjoy it. Look at the beauty, soak it in, and take deep breaths. If it fails, I'm blaming the Thai government.
Day 3: Temple Time & Cooking Class Chaos
- Morning: Visit Wat Chalong, Phuket's largest and most revered Buddhist temple. Some quiet contemplation. Okay, maybe some quiet attempted contemplation because I've got a wicked case of tourist ADHD.
- Quirky Observation: Temples always have these beautiful, intricate details. You can spend hours examining them, or, you know, just take a quick snap and move on to the next thing. It's probably the best of both worlds.
- Afternoon: Cooking class! I adore cooking. I’m terrible at following recipes. Thai cooking is known for its complex flavors so, I'm setting myself up for epic failure. But, hey, at least we'll (hopefully) eat something delicious.
- Anecdote: One time, I tried to make paella. It ended up looking like a yellow, lumpy porridge. Let's hope this Thai cooking class goes better.
- Evening: Dinner! Okay, this is the payoff. We will be eating the meal we made in the cooking class. Or, if that’s inedible, we’ll find a restaurant. The goal is to actually avoid making my stomach queasy and potentially avoiding the bathroom all night long.
Day 4: Relaxing Day & Market Mayhem (aka Shopping Spree)
- Morning: Sleep in! I deserve it. Long beach walk. The ocean, the sun, it's time for some serious R&R.
- Afternoon: Visit the Phuket Weekend Market (or similar - depending on where we are) and spend a few hours roaming around, which will probably be chaotic.
- Emotional Reaction: I love shopping. Actually, I love window shopping. Okay, I like thinking I like shopping. But, I know I'll inevitably buy something unnecessary. And then feel guilty. And then wonder why I don't have more space in my suitcase.
- Evening: Sunset drinks on the balcony, reminiscing about the trip. I’m going to make myself feel better I will make myself feel good by finally letting myself go and feel the bliss.
Day 5: Departure & Post-Vacation Blues
- Morning: One last breakfast on the balcony. Pack, check out of Lanting House (hopefully smoothly), and head to the airport.
- Afternoon: The long flight home.
- Messy, Honest, and Absolutely Human: The post-vacation blues are already setting in. I’m dreading going back to reality. I’m already planning the next trip. This always happens.
- Funny Closing Notes: I'll probably gain five pounds (or more) from all the delicious food and lose another five from the stress of planning. But, hey, that's life, right? Until next time, Thailand. Until next time…
Phuket Paradise: King Bed Balcony Room at Lanting House (For Two!) - The Honest Truth (and a Few Rambles!)
